How to Read News Headlines

If any part of the headline is 'in quotation marks,' the story is either a vast distortion of the truth, or an outright lie.

If the headline ends in a question mark, the answer is no.

If the headline suggests a major medical breakthrough, the study will be small, the results not statistically significant, or there will simply be no mention of these things.

Addendum: If the headline is written in a publication in the Northwest Territories, hey! Look over there! Something shiny!

In today's top CBC headlines...

"Libyan snipers fire on mourners"

and

"Winnipeg girl to sing with Lady Gaga"

There is something wrong with a world where it is implied those two events deserve the same degree of national attention.

Congratulations to Egypt!

The People got what they asked for.

Now comes the hard part: getting what they want.